Yesterday was an off day for me. I had to wake up and do yard work I was voluntold to do. A requirement for Crew is that you have to do 3 "volunteer" rent-a-rowers to earn $65 each, hence being voluntold. For these you go to a meeting spot at about 7:30 in the morning, get assigned a job and go out and work for whoever has ordered a rower. I was assigned to a couple who are both Purdue faculty. They had us do some yard work, trimming, raking, ect. It was a nice day, they fed us, and tipped us so that was not too bad of an experience. It was really nice to get off campus. I didn't realize until this morning how nice it felt to be off campus for a while. I had a strange feeling yesterday after being done with the work and returning to the boat house, but I went to sleep that night with ever pinpointing that strange feeling. This morning I woke up and knew exactly what it was. I feel trapped. I feel trapped on campus. Last year I was living on my own, had a car, and could go wherever I pleased provided that I have the gas money. I hate feeling confined to one spot. Even this summer while I was working at summer camp I felt trapped. So on my weekends off I would run. The decision was usually made just before curfew at midnight. I walked the mile and a half to my car, laundry and other travel supplies in hand. Jumped in my car and drove the hour and a half to Indianapolis where old family friends live. They have been in my life since my parents got me from the PHilippines, so they are like a second family. I just walk in and sleep there whenever I please.
I loved it at camp and I love it here at Purdue, but somedays I have the insatiable desire to get away. Just take a little break from my reality. Hopefully I find an escape or the feeling passes with a little bit of time.
I have that exact same situation right now. I haven't been outside of campus since August, with the exception of going to Lafayette a few times.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Minnesota, so it makes it even harder to travel home. Although the Purdue campus is nice, I haven't been home or had a break for 3 months now. I wasn't able to go home over Fall Break, and won't be going home until Thanksgiving Break. I am so excited to be going home, even though it is only for 4 days. (ENGL 106)
I am glad that you had a nice day at your volunteering thing. I agree with you that just getting a little bit off of campus makes you feel different, even if it just Lafayette. I see what you mean by feeling trapped, however, I personally love being at Purdue. When I went home for Fall Break, I felt off, like something was missing and I immediately wanted to come back. I definitely miss having a car as well and just driving out in the middle of night to wherever I wanted.
ReplyDeleteWhen you mentioned old times and how you missed them, I know what you mean, however, I feel like Purdue has given me a new life that this is what I will miss when I go home, funny how that works.
In addition, the days that I feel most trapped here on campus are on cold, rainy days, and these types of days seem to increase in number. Also, one of your last statements with being trapped and wanting to find a way out reminds me of my senior studies in existentialism. How is being trapped at Purdue any different from being trapped in general in a life in which we must study to get a job, anywhere? ENGL 106
I agree as well that there is the feeling of being trapped on campus. I do really enjoy being able to do all of the things that are on campus and being so close to everything here, but I miss the feeling of independence and the ability to go places on my own. I have been off campus several times since I arrived, but it has always meant catching a ride with someone else, so almost all of them have been short trips to the store to get something that I need. It would be really nice to be able to just go drive around or go and spend the day away from campus. I also miss being in a house rather than in the dorms. It would be really nice to be able to do homework somewhere other than in my room or in the lobby with other people who I don't know walking by or doing work. I miss having my own space that is more than just a single room.
ReplyDeleteIts interesting that we look forward to college so much becuase we finally get to be on our own, but we don't realise that we will be constricted in some ways a lot more than we were when we were living at home. Engl 106