Wk 10 Identity

This chapter on identity was very intriguing to me. I feel that as college students defining our identity is a big challenge we face throughout these years. The topic I found most interesting in this chapter was Identity Security. I will try to only speak for myself because identity is a self discovery. This section discussed the different ways in which individuals find security in identity as a group and how that varies. Instead of restating all of the section I will define my identity security.

As I have stated in other blog posts, I was adopted from the Philippines and raised in suburban Indiana by a white family in a predominately white community. I define my personal identity as something different than my outward identity. Personal identity meaning how I view myself. If I were to give someone groups that I identify myself with they would be followers of Christ, ethnically Filipino, upper middle class, and a Purdue engineering student. There was a solid period of time throughout the last couple of years that defining certain aspects of my identity were very difficult, and sometimes still are. Growing up its easy to see that the white family with the little Asian girl in the super market adopted her. There was a pretty memorable moment last year while I was living on my own that my parents came to visit. We went grocery shopping and while we were there they went up to the deli counter with me trailing behind. My parents told the worker what they wanted while I was just wandering back and forth looking at everything. The worker turned to address me and said, “I’ll be with you in a moment after I help these customers.” Obviously my response was, “I’m with them.” Internally, that was a life shaking moment.

Its hard to firmly identify myself as a Filipino because I don’t know the traditions, i don’t know the mannerisms, the language, and whatever other aspects may be crucial to defining oneself as such. At the same time I obviously can’t tell people that I’m white when they so bluntly ask, “what are you”? Over much internal debate I’ve decided my conflicting feelings about self definition and identity come from feeling inferior to other Filipinos. I have it worked up in my head that I am not “Filipino enough” to classify myself as such.

For the most part I am a very confident person and secure in who I am. Things like racial and ethnic definition, which seems like it should be so clear, are the hardest for me to wrestle with. For these reasons identity security is a very interesting topic of discussion.