Ok so I’ll be honest and tell you first up that, before this assignment, my knowledge about the zombie apocalypse could easily match up to that of a new born baby. The reason for that is possibly my lack of interest in sci-fi movies. However, after being hit with a blog prompt that was connected to the zombie apocalypse, I feel like I could talk for over 2 minutes on the issue. So here goes my list of the top 10 survival tips one would need in order to survive a zombie apocalypse:
1) Look for a Zombie Survival Guide handbook. Chances are that the advice written in that handbook would be far superior to what you are going to get from my blog post.
2) Okay, so this one is serious. Keep a first-aid kit with you at all times. Remember, you can’t hurt a zombie (because they are zombies and cutting off their arm isn’t exactly fatal for them) but a zombie can always hurt you!
3) Always keep a gun/pepper spray with you in your purse or pocket. Now, to be completely honest with you, I have no clue about the effects these things would have on an actual zombie but hey, I’d feel safer with either one of those two weapons.
4) Keep away from hospitals. The reason why I say this is because hospitals house dead people and dead people could actually translate into zombies. Now, you wouldn’t want that, would you?
5) Fill that car of yours with petrol. It’s got to be ready when you need it. Remember- an efficient escaping technique is key!
6) I probably sound like a heartless person saying this but if your friend or close relative gets bitten by a zombie, don’t waste your time crying and mourning. Get on your feet as soon as possible and RUN because chances of you being the zombie’s next meal are quite high!
7) Pray.Pray.Pray. God often tends to be more reliable than most of us mere mortals so ask him for help! If you are an atheist, ignore this tip and jump to the next one!
8) Tell your family and friends that you love them. These are critical times and all of you have a cloud of death encircling you from above so it’s nice to tell people you love them before dying, right?
9) So my friend tells me that a chainsaw can actually knock off a zombie’s head. Hence, I’m guessing it’s a good idea to carry one along with you at all times, just to be safe. But then again, the lightest chainsaw weighs around 25 pounds. Oh well, there is no harm in trying, is there?
10) Lastly, keep pinching yourself at regular time intervals. Who knows, all of it might just be a dream!
I’d like to end by saying that I found this blog prompt to be utterly hilarious and creative at the same time. I hope a zombie apocalypse NEVER takes place. Even if it does, I hope no one resorts to my list of survival tips because chances are that they might just get themselves killed a lot earlier than the zombies had planned.